Tears and tantrums

So, we have been having a bit of a tough time lately, lots of tears and meltdowns since returning to school after the Christmas break. There is usually something that triggers it and on this occasion it has stemmed from a change in her support at school. 

She's had the same Teaching Assistant (TA) for the past 4 years and was very attached to her. They had a tight bond, always joking and laughing together. My daughter has a wicked sense of humour and Mrs B just got her. Katelyn would always call her by her first name Hazel, rather than Mrs B as is school rules. Due to personal circumstances Mrs B reluctantly decided to take early retirement. 

Katelyn has realised Mrs B is no longer at school but she doesn't have the language to ask any questions, so before she went back to school I had to explain it to her in a way she would get. I told her that when grown ups get old they stop working because they need lots of rest as they get tired easily. I'm sure Mrs B would see the humour in this, she's only 54! We will be keeping in touch with Mrs B but I want to leave a bit of time before we see her so that Katelyn has time to adjust and build a bond with her new TA.

When someone new takes on a supervisory role with Kateyn she becomes anxious and insecure. She shows this by behaving completely out of character, kicking and lashing out, blowing raspberries and throwing things. This then becomes routine for her and she will continue on in this way indefinitely. We have learnt that in order to stop this we need to break the cycle by changing the routine. We started a home/school diary so that we could look at the events in detail and identify possible triggers.

Needless to say we found a few and adapted her school day accordingly.

Trigger 1: Best friend AKA comfort blanket - would not leave her alone and became too affectionate. This then led to upset as her friend is in a different group set in lessons and also wasn't keen on being hugged and tickled all day long. This would start first thing when lining up in the playground and would then spiral out of control for the rest of the day. 

Solution: Instead of arriving in the main playground we went in through the main entrance avoiding any drama in the line. We continued this for a week before restarting lining up in the playground. Now we try to get there just before the whistle blows so the girls aren't together for too long. As soon as they're in the classroom Katelyn will go off and do her work.

Trigger 2: Sitting down to work with new TA. 

Solution: Once trigger 1 was resolved, this became less of an issue. Their relationship is now developing and Katelyn has been doing some great work.

After a shaky start to the the week she has gradually become much calmer and the behaviour subsided. By Friday she was like a different child, much calmer and happier.  

This was all in the space of 3 weeks. The first week we put down to settling in, the second week she was getting worse so we intervened. By the third week she had settled.

And breathe ...